Greetings and hello.

Enough with the apologies of late. Now, I will update everyone on the family.

Kaaryn has been working overnights as a hospice home health nurse. She goes to people's homes and stays overnight as they slowly and impatiently wait to die. I know it sounds like a circus, but it's actually kind of a drag. She works from 8PM to 8AM. Then she comes home and sleeps while I play Mr. Mom. Her schedule has her working three days one week and then 4 days the next, which has her harassing me four days one week and then three days the next.

Salem has been growing up quite a bit. She now has a total of four teeth, which beats out the majority of residents in Taylor, AZ.

She likes to Skype her grandmas. If anyone is not familiar with Skype, it's the coolest thing since James Dean's estate sale. People can do videophone conversations for free online. Check it out at skype.com.

She has been eating baby food lately. Kaaryn gave her a go at this pizza crust, which nearly ended in the baby Heimlich, seriously, it almost did.

She has been working on her baby smile. Which is coming along.

This was a propitious bit of photography. This was the first time Salem sat up unassisted.

And finally, Salem has been dabbling with the Jedi mind trick. I can't quite recall why, but I let her stay up really late that night.

An interesting episode with Athos: he disappeared a couple of nights ago. He likes to go outside and has never ventured further than three feet from our back door. However, one night, as I am going to bed, I noticed that nothing extraordinarily abrasive is licking my scalp. I looked everywhere and could not find him. The next day I looked all over again. Athos was gone. Kaaryn and I drove around the neighborhood and inquired with neighbors, but there was no white puff of fur to be found anywhere outside of Mrs. Smith's jumbo old lady hat.

The only thing that gave us comfort was that we had just purchased a collar and a tag for him, so hopefully anyone that found him would know where to call. But nobody called. So imagine my surprise when the next morning I let Mojo out and saw no kitty. Five minutes later, I go to let "capital M, as in Momo," as I call him, back into the house, and there is Athos pawing at the glass door. He looks like he lost some weight, and was very glad to be home, but came home nonetheless.

Here he is trying to steal some cereal from me after returning home.

And just hanging around having a lazy day.

Mojo has been coming along very well. He loves Athos, they play quite a bit. And he really loves Roxanne. Those two have some pretty intense play sessions full of biting and tackling and neck and ear pulling. Mojo is pretty much fully potty trained and is pretty good about only chewing licensed objects.

Mojo loves to play with Roxanne. Athos likes to spectate.

He has been working on the face pull move for a few weeks now.

And Mojo loves to snuggle.

Hello, everybody. I apologize for the recent lull in quality content. I have a little more busyness in the near future, and then I promise to get everyone up to speed. In the mean time, I have created a companion blog to this one: Generally Interesting Videos. I have been finding a lot of videos and I didn't just want to throw them all on this blog. So I made a new one. There is a link to the right, or you can find it at generallyinterestingvideos.blogspot.com Leave a comment if you visit the site, so I know if anyone is actually going there. I will probably update that blog fairly frequently, so enjoy.

The time has come, bloggers, to pay the proverbial piper. I found a nice dry speech on Web 2.0 and what this guy calls the "cognitive surplus." And now you must watch it! But seriously, this is really good, and, I think, significant. Before you say, "Oh no! Another bald, white guy badmouthing tv. I love tv. Tv makes me feel like I'm somebody!" Before you say any of that, watch this. The blogging world should find this, at least, interesting, since you're doing exactly what he's talking about. It runs about 15 minutes.

I've been busy with some stuff of late. I don't have much time for a decent post. So, instead of posting about the stuff that keeps my busy, I found a humorous video on The Onion that is both pertinent and non offensive. Enjoy.



In The Know: Are Politicians Failing Our Lobbyists?

Everybody meet. . .Mojo! You, blogging world, chose the name. Mojo just beat out our second choice for a name, which was Suck-it-Saleem (see comments for last post).

With all of the hoopla for Mojo of late, I thought it would be nice to dedicate a post for Roxanne. I caught up with Roxanne today in the backyard and she was kind enough to answer a few of my questions. Here are the transcripts.

How have you been adjusting with a new puppy around?

Pretty well, Matt. It was difficult to transition from a home where there was abundant canine interlocution and butt sniffing. I have enjoyed having Mojo at home and look foreword to the next time he bites my ear and tries to drag me away with it.

You brought up butt sniffing. Could you tell me a bit more about that particular practice.

Butt sniffing is an age old tradition wherein one dog is able to ascertain what the other ate for breakfast that morning, or even dinner the night before, depending on the time of day.

Would it be fair to say that poop has a fair amount to do with this practice?

Yes and no. There are certain glands in that area, the perineum, if you will, that do create a certain interest to fellow dogs. But, if one is to discuss poop in this matter, it is necessary to have a firm grounding in poop theory. The first thing one should know about poop from a dog's perspective, is that each morsel of dookie is a veritable journal entry in that dog's life. What has this dog eaten? Are there any lingering gastrointestinal issues? Is the hydration significant? In anyone looking in case I would like to eat this particular specimen? One needs to take a very nonjudgmental approach to another dog's excrement. If you knew when someone was examining your butt-butter and they were thinking “Heavens! This dog lack the proper nutrition to sustain a decent session of chase-and-bite,” you would be reluctant to allow someone to sniff you butt, or eat your poo, for that matter. You have to be confidant the other dog is thinking something like “Wow, a pancake must have fallen on the floor this morning!”

Fascinating. Tell me, there seems to be a lingering animosity between dogs and cats, would you care to comment on that?

Sure. While I can't deny there has been any hereditary antipathy between our two species, there has been significant progress in repairing all of the acrimony that has kept us separated for so long, an interspecies detente, if you will. It appeared that there was going to be real progress when representatives were sent from each species to a conference which was held beneath a bridge near the Howard Johnson's in Topeka. However, talks broke down when the Honorable Ambassador Sprinkles scratched Viceroy Pepper after splashing him with water. Shortly thereafter someone found a half eaten sandwich and all hell broke loose. I have to be going now. I hear the mailman and would like inflict some kind of bodily harm on him.

Thanks for your time, Roxanne. See that the mailman gets what's coming to him.

Everyone say hello to . . . ? Well, we don't have a name yet. But fear not. We are allowing the blogging world to have some say. Please vote in the poll and give us your feedback. If you vote "other" please leave a suggestion in the comments. But about this puppy.

We always told ourselves that, after we get a home of our own, we would like to get another dog. Roxanne also has been a bit pouty since we've moved away from the other dog Sasha. So we've been visiting shelters and looking on craig'slist. We came across this guy on craig'slist and went out to see him today. I really liked him, so here he is.

His previous owner has no name for him yet. He was born on February 12th and is the biggest boy in the litter. I saw his dad and he was a big boy. Both of his parents are Pit Bulls. Looking at his paws, this guy could end up pushing 70-75 pounds, just a guess. He is very mellow and has vacillated between following Kaaryn and me around the house and approaching Roxanne in her house. I made the mistake of giving her a rawhide chewtoy, so she is not making him feel at home yet. I post more as we learn more. For now, just weigh in on the name. I'll leave the poll up for a few days.

This is just about the only face shot I could get where he didn't close his eyes.


As you can see.


He was awake here. Just closed his eyes. Look at those paws.


This is the Mr. Magoo shot.


He really likes Salem and has already bathed her once.

I'll go ahead and cover two things in this post. But I want everyone to know, since I'm doing a double cow to the masses, with many pictures, that I will not be posting anything fun or vaguely interesting in the near future. It will be all lists and things that only I find funny. So be warned.

This post will be dedicated to two things: First, Salem ate food for the first time this week. It was well documented. Second, we've been getting a lot of requests for house pictures. I will post some.

Salem likes to begin with an appetizer of dirty socks.


She has trouble focusing. This picture is just before she challenged to camera to a duel.


But she does like the solid food.


After we're done, it's cleanup time.


Now for the house. A couple of things. We're not quite moved in as of yet. The yard is a mess and I haven't had time to tackle it yet. But I look foreword to it. Believe me, the world hasn't seen something reclaimed like this since Hannibal was defeated at Tarentum. The inside of the house is as disorderly as a Libertarian convention and is therefore off limit to pictures, says the boss.

Beginning with the house from the street.


Same house, new angle.


The street on which we live.


The backyard is pretty small. I'd guess about twenty feet from house to fence. The family before us built the deck so as to be wheelchair accessible. I think they got their mortgage from a loanshark and wanted to be prepared for the worst.


This is our dining room. Tables are for suckers! That fireplace burns wood, or, in the case of the Nixon whitehouse, incriminating documents.


This is the Master bedroom on guys' night out. Athos and I had been doing some serious partying.


I hope you all enjoyed this post. Because for a while I will not be humoring the humorless. Lucky for you, I don't have any ideas yet.

Perhaps some bad news this time. We're a bit worried about our neighborhood after what happened yesterday. Right across the street from us, there was what appeared to be a gang initiation. A couple of guys got beaten pretty badly. I did what any self-respecting man would do. . .I hid in my house and called the police. I did, however, manage to film the whole thing on my cell phone. Here's the video. I'll warn you, it's not for the weak of stomach.

Greetings from Crowley, Texas. I'll make this post short and incoherent, since we've both been exhausted since Thursday. We have arrived safely in Crowley, which is just southwest of Fort Worth. We spent all day packing. Kaaryn and I loaded our entire storage unit ourselves, which contained the vast majority of our stuff. Kaaryn is a lot tougher than she looks. Friday, Kaaryn's dad, Shane, and I drove the stuff while Kaaryn flew to Fort Worth with Salem. Shane and I left at 5:30AM Arizona time and arrived at 11:00PM Arizona time. We made no superfluous stops. Kaaryn left 10 hours after us and arrived 4 hours before us. You gotta love air travel!

Our house was quite a mess when we got here. We've been trying to clean and settle and whatnot nonstop since Saturday, and we still have a very long way to go. So stay posted for updates. I have been getting hounded for more pictures of Salem, so this posting should get some of you off of my back.

Here we are striking a pose in front of the house. Shane made us.





Roxanne makes herself at home on the deck.





Roxanne and Athos picked up right where they left off. Here they are in the cab of the moving truck.





Salem after vomiting in her exersaucer. Note the chin.





Salem after Kaaryn told her the Dodgers won that day.



Kaaryn and Brianne took some photos of Salem and Dalton. These two are cousins, for those who don't know.


Here, Salem embraces the spirit of the South, and tries to make out with her cousin.

New York City?!

That’s right, last week my mom took me to Manhattan for my birthday and to do some family history. (I never found the infamous salsa factory of commercial fame.) We had loads of fun and did all sorts of remarkable things. Which I will prove to be true by presently remarking on them. Enjoy the pictures. I had trouble getting the formatting correct. The captions are the for the picture beneath them.

Here I am at St. Patrick's Cathedral the day before the Pope did a Mass there. He let me borrow his hat.

This is the cemetary where we were looking for our family. It was in Queens. Three million people are buried there.

This is Trinity Church viewed from Wall Street.

This is where George Washington took the oath of office.

I believe this is where the current president took the oath.

This is ground zero viewed from Trinity Church. They removed the viewing platform and put a fence around it, so you can't see it anymore.

Times Square at dusk.

The Statue of Liberty.

We went to the Museum of Natural History, which is like a zoo, if nothing moved. As you can see, things can get pretty dicey around there. We saw elephants. . .

Tyrannosauras. . .

And a Triceratops. . .

This was a filming of The Oreilly Factor.

All in all, we had good fun. Stay tuned for news on the move.