Everybody meet. . .Mojo! You, blogging world, chose the name. Mojo just beat out our second choice for a name, which was Suck-it-Saleem (see comments for last post).

With all of the hoopla for Mojo of late, I thought it would be nice to dedicate a post for Roxanne. I caught up with Roxanne today in the backyard and she was kind enough to answer a few of my questions. Here are the transcripts.

How have you been adjusting with a new puppy around?

Pretty well, Matt. It was difficult to transition from a home where there was abundant canine interlocution and butt sniffing. I have enjoyed having Mojo at home and look foreword to the next time he bites my ear and tries to drag me away with it.

You brought up butt sniffing. Could you tell me a bit more about that particular practice.

Butt sniffing is an age old tradition wherein one dog is able to ascertain what the other ate for breakfast that morning, or even dinner the night before, depending on the time of day.

Would it be fair to say that poop has a fair amount to do with this practice?

Yes and no. There are certain glands in that area, the perineum, if you will, that do create a certain interest to fellow dogs. But, if one is to discuss poop in this matter, it is necessary to have a firm grounding in poop theory. The first thing one should know about poop from a dog's perspective, is that each morsel of dookie is a veritable journal entry in that dog's life. What has this dog eaten? Are there any lingering gastrointestinal issues? Is the hydration significant? In anyone looking in case I would like to eat this particular specimen? One needs to take a very nonjudgmental approach to another dog's excrement. If you knew when someone was examining your butt-butter and they were thinking “Heavens! This dog lack the proper nutrition to sustain a decent session of chase-and-bite,” you would be reluctant to allow someone to sniff you butt, or eat your poo, for that matter. You have to be confidant the other dog is thinking something like “Wow, a pancake must have fallen on the floor this morning!”

Fascinating. Tell me, there seems to be a lingering animosity between dogs and cats, would you care to comment on that?

Sure. While I can't deny there has been any hereditary antipathy between our two species, there has been significant progress in repairing all of the acrimony that has kept us separated for so long, an interspecies detente, if you will. It appeared that there was going to be real progress when representatives were sent from each species to a conference which was held beneath a bridge near the Howard Johnson's in Topeka. However, talks broke down when the Honorable Ambassador Sprinkles scratched Viceroy Pepper after splashing him with water. Shortly thereafter someone found a half eaten sandwich and all hell broke loose. I have to be going now. I hear the mailman and would like inflict some kind of bodily harm on him.

Thanks for your time, Roxanne. See that the mailman gets what's coming to him.