Well, I'm coming out of the closet. The academic closet, that is. I no longer plan to pursue a PhD in Rhetoric and Composition. I don't want to get into exactly why at this point. That will be a very long post some day. Or a very short one, I haven't decided yet. For now, it suffices me to say that I think that I could find greater joy in another profession. I am still going to finish my masters in Rhet/Comp. I will finish a year from May.

I will be taking the LSAT the first Monday in June. The LSAT is like the regular SAT, except the people that take the LSAT are older, and dirtbags. Which is to say that I plan to go to law school. Why? Because I like to read and write and I love to compose arguments. And I'm a dirtbag. (I was just commenting to Kaaryn about all of the grief I gave to my Priest Quorum advisor who was a lawyer. As Admiral Tug Benson would say: “Looks like the upper hand is on the other foot.”)

I can't say where I plan to go to law school yet. I need to see how I score on the LSAT before I know who is too good for me, and who just thinks they're too good for me. However, I can tell you this: I will not be considered a resident by the Arizona universities. They will make me pay out of state tuition, and I will not be paying out of state tuition to go there, unless I really bomb the LSAT.

To be completely honest about the matter, I was not going to announce this until I had seen my score for the LSAT. If I scored poorly I was going to reconsider law school. But, at this point, I have no desire to pursue a PhD in Rhet/Comp. I'm pretty sure it's law school either way.

I thought it would be cool if I blogged the whole process of studying for the test, taking the test, applying, getting rejected, having a breakdown, and getting left by Kaaryn for a Swedish masseur named Sven. I thought it might be helpful for anyone who might be thinking about law school some day. Or anyone who wants to run off with a Swedish masseur. Or both. So I will update later in the week and talk about what I'm doing to prepare for the test (I'm a firm believer that watching televised sports is beneficial for all those about to participate in standardized evaluations).

In the meantime, here are some pictures. If you're one of those scrollers who skips all of the text, you should know that these pictures were taken in Vatican City, as we discussed above, when we won a raffle to wear the Pope's hat for ten minutes. Best ten minutes of my life!

When I told Salem that I wanted to go to law school.



She got into a container of Vicks. I have to say, she's been breathing very well since then.



She couldn't find a burlap sack or a barrel with overalls attached.



Doing her Chris Farley impression.



Kaaryn warned her. If she didn't clear her room. . .



"You're getting very sleepy. . ."


I was studying in the kitchen pretty late at night. This is what I saw when went into the living room.